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Leaving the Train

I read a remarkable story the other day. 

A boy had traveled by train with his parents every month to visit his grandparents. Eventually he reached the point where he convinced his parents he was old enough to make the trip alone.  As the train prepared to leave the station, his father slipped something in his pocket, and said, “if you feel frightened or confused, this is for you.”

The trip was different from when the boy had his parents for reassurance.  The train was noisier and more crowded than he remembered, with people looking at him in ways he could not interpret. Scared, and feeling terribly alone, he remembered his dad had put something in his pocket. It was a piece of paper on which he had written five words:

“I’m in the last car.”

We know we have to let our children go, but no matter their age, we always want to be in the last car, watching, in case their life gets too tough to handle on their own.

For 43 years I was on the train with my son Ivan, at first with him in my lap and eventually supporting him from the last car. With great sadness, I am now ready to go public with the news that Ivan and I both left that train on January 1, 2023.  Ivan is gone now, exploring the hereafter with his brother, Adriano, and I am stepping into my future as well, now that we both are free of his suffering. 

I don’t know how long it will be before I write more about this. Just wanted you to know what has happened, and to assure you that although it is pretty lonely and confusing standing on the platform without him,  I am feeling strong and capable of moving forward, and grateful as ever for the blessings of my life, even when they are mixed with pain. Thank you for any loving thoughts you sent Ivan’s and my way.

Ivan Etienne Corona

September 28, 1979- January 1, 2023

Rise in Power, Be Free, Go with my Love

12 thoughts on “Leaving the Train”

  1. Jane Halsey says:

    Gave me both chills and tears to read this, this that was so beautifully shared. You know I always say big souls choose big challenges. His spirit is free on the wings of your love.

  2. Tina says:

    No words. Sending lots of love your way.🙏🏽

  3. Peter says:

    I hope that I’ll meet only people like you on the platform. Big hugs…

  4. Pat Dunphy says:

    So sad and beautiful at the same time. Sending you love.

  5. Marian Barker says:

    Sending love and prayers to you and your family 🙏❤️

  6. Moss Hills says:

    A beautiful and moving account of something so deeply tragic. I am so sorry Laurel. Although I know that mere words cannot ease your grief, I still send my heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

  7. Jeff Jenssen says:

    Mike and I are sending love and light to you and your son.

  8. Ann (Green) Roberts says:

    Sending you lots of love. May Ivan’s spirit soar.

  9. Sharon and Carl Larsen says:

    Laurel, you are in our thoughts and prayers. May your faith and the happy memories of your beloved sons give you peace and comfort in the days ahead. We have always admired your talent and our hearts go out to you.
    All our love,

    1. Mary Tina Morgan says:

      There are no words to express my sorrow for hearing about your loss of your beloved
      son Ivan. My sincere condolences and my hope that your faith and your strength aid you in this time of great loss. Sending love to you.

  10. Mary Tina Morgan says:

    There are no words to express my sorrow for hearing about your loss of your beloved
    son Ivan. My sincere condolences and my hope that your faith and your strength aid you in this time of great loss. Sending love to you.

  11. Sharon Shalinsky says:

    I am so sorry to hear of this last train trip you took together, Laurel. The last time we spoke you told me you would not be surprised if Ivan left this world. I so hope your good memories of times together will provide some comfort as you now journey forth. You have whole community of love and support here in Victoria, and especially at Kolot Mayim. We hope our virtual hugs are felt.

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