I started this blog in September 2008 to coincide with the publication of my first two books, The Four Seasons and Until Our Last Breath. It evolved fairly quickly from primarily promoting my work as an author, to sharing my experiences and ideas as a person. Now 440 posts later, I think of it mostly as a means to bring my thoughts into focus, and to share what I think might be of value to others as we all find our way through the complicated puzzle of our lives.
I haven’t posted much for the last few months because I, like so many, have felt the bucket of cold water we call the news poured over my head several times a day. To say that the worsening onslaught since the inauguration makes it difficult to put together coherent thoughts about the meaning of life is an understatement so huge it’s hard not to laugh, however bitterly. Probably, like you, I am so busy just trying to manage my thoughts and protect my heart that I have little room for anything more.
Those of you who have known me, or followed this blog for a few years, know that I sometimes look back at my first marriage to a narcissist for insights about what is happening in the present. Since the rise of the current occupant of the White House, I have seen so many parallels between the way my ex-husband treated me and our children, and the way the current president treats everyone.
To go deeply into this would take volumes and serve no purpose except to upset me, so I am going to stick with one point: narcissists don’t see other people as real. Malignant narcissists might enjoy causing pain and distress, but the garden variety like my ex simply don’t take into consideration the flesh-and-blood nature of other people. Our feelings are irrelevant, our needs inconsequential.
It really is that simple, but with the person America elected to lead it, this plays out on an unimaginable scale. He slashes away at will, or permits others to do it, without the slightest awareness that people care about themselves. They care about their lives, their children, their livelihoods, their future. Healthier people find their behaviour incomprehensible because how in the world could anyone be so clueless? Surely this must stop somewhere! Well, they are and it won’t. We are left now to predict future disasters by asking ourselves “what would someone who doesn’t think other people are real do in this situation?”
In the past few days, a handful of acolytes are attempting to destroy the capacity of the government to pay debts because people who rely on government entitlements and services aren’t real. Entire agencies are shut down and people are fired or furloughed because neither they nor the people they serve are real. Today’s great idea is to move two million of the not-real out of Gaza so he can fashion it into a new Riviera for not-reals with more money. What does it matter where the Gazans go? What does it matter what they think? How could they possibly care about their lives?
And what will it be tomorrow, and the next day? Whose lives and human dignity will be inconsequential next? He may be erratic and perhaps a bit mad, but our being irrelevant to him is one thing we can count on.